Reading is a luxury.

So how do you make time for It?

"Literature is an art of withholding. What matters is what is left unsaid.”

-Leila Slimani, The Scent of Flowers at Night

Last week my husband surprised me with a weekend getaway to a coastal town in Portugal called Estoril. The Atlantic ocean stretching before us, a heated pool, room service and my family was everything I needed. Yet deep down, I also craved a moment to myself, a moment to read.

For me, as for so many others, reading is a luxury.

Keeping up with our ever so busy schedules with work, kids or no kids, exercise, social engagements, maintaining a household, it takes absolutely everything.

As women, most of all, we are boggled down with a million tasks and finding the time to stop, slow down and read, can feel completely unattainable.

Reading feels like a stolen moment, a moment of sublime pleasure, where you give yourself that which is so precious.

Personally, I use whatever scraps of time I have to read (on my lunch break for a few minutes, at night after the whirlwind of the day).

I do this because I know how much it gives me.

Reading, in so many ways, is an escape from the rigors of daily life.

But reading also goes so much beyond that; it gives me an intimacy with myself that I crave after being all day with people.

Reading also gives me a break from my own mind.

In a world where our mental load is on max with endless to-do’s, schedules to keep up with, reading a book doesn’t require me to think, it gives me the story, and how I experience it is all my own.

Reading, especially if I’m reading a book to match my mood and my mindset, always fills me up.

Sometimes I read to be endlessly entertained. Sometimes I read to escape my own views of the world, and embrace new ways of being. Other times I read for the sublimeness, the beautiful writing that only masters can deliver after years of perfecting their craft. What do you read for?

Back to my weekend getaway. I had downloaded several books to my Kindle. When I finally got my moment alone, I opened it up and inspected my options.

I had chosen one book that my therapist had recommended to help me process some grief, the book is called My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry by Fredrik Backman. This seemed charming but I didn’t want to go there at that time.

The other book was a sort of memoir by Deborah Levy, called Things I Don’t Want to Know, a fiery book that questions feminist ideals and the society we live in. I had a feeling it would light me up. But this too wasn’t the mood I was looking for.

Instead, I turned my attention to the other book I had downloaded called The Scent of Flowers at Night by the French writer and journalist, Leila Slimani. I have no recollection of how I stumbled upon this book, only that I was immediately intrigued by it. To note, I had no idea who the writer was before this.

The description read, “Leila Slimani grapples with the self as it is revealed in solitude.”

What is revealed from the self in solitude? This was something I was curious about.

As I started reading the book, I discovered that Leila Slimani, was writing about her own struggles with writing. More so, the struggle to find time to write. Even more so, the struggle to write and be uninterrupted.

This resonated deeply.

Part of the work of being a writer, Slimani notes, is saying “no” to the outside world.

Her dedication goes like this.

“I live apart from others. This seclusion seems to me the one condition necessary for Life to happen. As if, by separating myself from the noise of the world, by protecting myself, another world might emerge from within me.”

Just like with reading, we must say “no” to some things, in order to read.

“Writing is discipline. It is giving up on happiness, on the little joys of everyday life….To write, you must refuse yourself to others; refuse them to your presence, your love. You must disappoint your friends and your children.”

Indeed, if we want to read or write or do whatever lights us up, we must make a discipline out of it. Our commitment to our craft or pleasure, needs to be orderly, mandatory and non-negotiable.

“What isn’t said belongs to you forever. Writing is a way of playing with silence, of slyly revealing unspeakable secrets in real life. Literature is an art of withholding. Literature is made up of an erotica of silence. What matters is what is left unsaid.”

As I continued reading word after word of her sublime writing, I felt immersed in her world. In her conviction to reclaim her time, I recognized myself.

This book gave me permission to keep reclaiming my time to read and write.

Work that my soul needs.

Space where my mind rests.

Moments where my soul feels.

                                      It’s hard to summarize what reading means for me - 

          because it is so many things. 

                                                                          But if I had to summarize it, 

                  To read is to claim your time. 

That’s my thoughts for today. I hope this post inspired you to reclaim a little bit of your time and spend it on reading or doing whatever your soul needs.

I would love to hear what book you’re reading this week.

If you’ve been wanting to make more time for reading or find books that truly speak to where you are in life, I’d love to help.

As a bibliotherapist, I curate personalized books to help you gain new perspectives, find comfort, and explore your own inner world. Whether you’re feeling stuck, seeking inspiration, or simply want to deepen your reading life, bibliotherapy offers a thoughtful, personalized way to explore yourself through books.

Reach out if you're curious—I’d love to chat. You can also schedule a bibliotherapy session with me.

Until next time.

xx

Toni